Being bisexual does not fundamentally define who you are. Rather, it describes who you’re attracted to—not your entire identity. Positive affirmations like “I like men and women, and there’s nothing wrong with that” can help you validate your feelings and ignore biphobic remarks. You can also find strength in community—join bi-inclusive support groups or attend LGBTQ+ events to find support and connection.
Step 1: Describe Your Sexuality as You See Fit
Being “bisexual” generally means having romantic or sexual attraction to more than one gender. This might mean being attracted to cis men and nonbinary individuals, men and women, or another mix of genders. Your attraction doesn’t have to be split evenly—it’s completely normal to feel more drawn to one gender over another.
Sexuality is fluid, and there’s no one-size-fits-all definition of bisexuality. You might find yourself only sexually attracted to one gender but romantically interested in more. Or your feelings could evolve over time. There’s no right or wrong way to be bisexual. You don’t have to fit anyone else’s mold.
Are you unsure if you identify as bisexual? To learn more about your orientation, take our “Am I Bisexual?” quiz.
Step 2: Don’t Let Other People Compromise Your Sexuality
Unfortunately, bisexuality still faces stigma, even within the LGBTQ+ community. You may hear people say you need to “pick a side,” but that’s simply not true. Being attracted to more than one gender is valid, and you don’t have to change who you are for anyone.
Try saying:
“I’m bisexual and attracted to both genders. I don’t have to choose a side—I can’t change who I like.”
It’s not your job to convince people. If someone doesn’t accept you, that says more about them than you. Surround yourself with true friends and allies who respect and support you.
Step 3: Recognize That Being Bisexual Has No Right or Wrong Way
There’s no “correct” way to be bisexual. Stereotypes—like the assumption that bisexuals are more likely to cheat—can pressure you to behave a certain way. But your orientation is just one part of you, and it doesn’t dictate how you act in relationships.
Want a monogamous relationship? Great. Prefer an open relationship? That’s fine too. You don’t have to follow any rules just because you’re bisexual. Some people find labels helpful, while others don’t—either way is okay.
Step 4: Recite a Personal Mantra to Affirm Your Emotions
Negative comments can make it hard to accept yourself, especially if people invalidate your feelings. When this happens, use positive affirmations to strengthen your confidence and self-worth.
Try repeating:
- “I am attracted to more than one gender, and there is nothing wrong with that.”
- “My feelings are legitimate, and I am bisexual.”
- “I don’t need to justify myself; my sexuality is unique to me.”
Step 5: Recognize That Your Feelings Are Not Unique
You are not alone. A large part of the LGBTQ+ community identifies as bisexual. Coming out when you’re ready can help you feel connected and supported.
Feeling isolated? Look up “bisexual celebrities”—you might be surprised at how many public figures share your experience. The “B” in LGBTQ+ is there for a reason.
Step 6: Try to Accept Yourself as You Are
You deserve to feel proud of who you are. While it’s not always easy, building your self-esteem can help you embrace your bisexuality.
Talk with friends or family members who are supportive. Look into LGBTQ+ centers in your area for bisexual discussion groups. And remember: Your sexuality doesn’t define your worth. You are amazing, exactly as you are.
Talking Openly About Your Bisexuality
Step 1: Talk to Trusted Loved Ones
Coming out can be powerful—but you’re never obligated to share your sexuality if you’re not ready. Start by talking to someone you trust. Once you feel safe and comfortable, you can choose to tell others.
You might say:
- “I wanted to let you know that I’m bisexual. I’ve dated both men and women.”
- “I don’t want you to assume who I date based on gender—feel free to ask me directly.”
If you’re not ready for others to know, make that clear:
“I haven’t told many people yet—can we keep this private for now?”
Looking for advice? Visit the “How do I come out as bi?” forum to hear from others in the community.
Step 2: Accept Your Place in the LGBTQ+ Community
Bisexuals are a vital part of the LGBTQ+ community. However you define your bisexuality, your place in the community is valid. Attend Pride, go to LGBTQ+ events, and celebrate who you are—you belong here.
And remember: Your current relationship doesn’t define your sexuality. You’re bisexual no matter who you’re dating.
Step 3: Participate in Support Groups
Being part of bisexual or LGBTQ+ support groups can make a big difference. Connecting with people who understand your experience provides encouragement and guidance.
Try online support forums, attend bi-focused events, or ask a therapist about local groups. Talking to others who share your journey helps you accept yourself and feel seen.
If you need immediate support:
- The Trevor Project – 866.488.7386
- LGBT National Hotline – 888.688.5428
Additional Advice
On Coming Out to Parents
Inge Hansen, PsyD, Clinical Psychologist:
Schedule your talk when your parents are calm and receptive. Tell them your bisexuality is part of who you are and that this conversation is an act of trust. If their reaction is negative, give them space and lean on someone who already accepts you. First responses aren’t always permanent—people often need time to adjust.
Kim Jin S., MA, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist:
Coming out is a lifelong process. Think carefully about your safety, especially if your parents are very religious or culturally conservative. Do you have support if things go wrong? If not, consider waiting until you’re more independent. You deserve to come out on your terms.
Explore More
Take one of wikiHow’s expert-reviewed quizzes for further support:
- Am I Gay?
- Am I a Lesbian?
- Am I Bisexual?
These resources are designed to guide you in understanding your identity with confidence and clarity.
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