Method 1: Understand and Accept Yourself
1. Seek the Answers to Your Questions
It’s normal to have questions when you start to explore your LGBTQ+ identity. You might wonder about your feelings, experiences, or the meaning of various labels. Reading online resources can help you learn that being LGBTQ+ is simply a part of who you are—and there’s nothing wrong with that.
For instance, you may worry that same-sex attraction is unhealthy, but it’s no more harmful than heterosexual attraction. Learning more can help you find peace in your identity.
2. Keep a Journal to Process Your Emotions
Writing down your thoughts and emotions can be a powerful way to understand them. Use a journal daily or whenever you’re struggling. Record both good and bad experiences to remind yourself of your journey and growth.
Review your journal from time to time to reflect on how far you’ve come.
3. Talk to Someone You Trust
Speaking with someone you trust can help ease emotional burdens. If you’re not ready to come out, that’s okay—you can still talk about your feelings. Choose a trusted friend or family member and share only what you’re comfortable with. Even saying something like, “I’m going through something and just need a friend,” can be enough to start.
4. Recognize That You’re Normal and Can Be Happy
Being LGBTQ+ is entirely normal. Like anyone else, you can build a fulfilling life, fall in love, succeed in your career, and experience all of life’s joys. Reading or watching others’ coming out stories can be inspiring. Even when you face challenges, remember that many positive moments lie ahead. Focus on the good.
Advanced Advice from Clinical Psychologist Inge Hansen, PsyD:
Though society sends mixed messages, all sexual and gender identities are valid and worthy of love. Look for supportive voices—friends, therapists, books, and communities that uplift you.
5. Take Your Time Choosing a Label
There’s no rush to pick a specific label like “bisexual” or “gay.” It’s okay to explore and change your mind. Go with what feels right now and adjust if needed.
For example, you might identify as bisexual now and realize later that you’re gay—that’s completely valid.
Advanced Advice from Inge Hansen, PsyD:
Have patience with yourself. If you’ve grown up around negative messages, it takes time to unlearn them. Give yourself grace and space to heal.
6. See a Therapist If You’re Struggling
A therapist can be a great ally in processing your feelings and building self-acceptance. Look for one who understands LGBTQ+ identities. You may even find someone who specializes in this area. Check whether your insurance covers mental health support.
Method 2: Let Go of Judgment and Find Support
1. Let Go of Self-Judgment
You may have internalized negative beliefs about being LGBTQ+. This is common but can be overcome. Educate yourself with affirming facts and practice self-compassion. You deserve kindness from yourself as much as from others.
For example, you might have been taught that being LGBTQ+ is sinful. But understanding the fluidity of gender and sexuality can help shift that mindset.
2. Attend LGBTQ+ Events
Going to LGBTQ+ events, even as an ally at first, can be empowering. Being around others who share similar experiences helps you feel less alone. Ask others about their journeys, and build friendships that affirm your identity.
Events to consider: LGBTQ+ Meetups, support groups, or Pride parades.
3. Build a Supportive Network
Surround yourself with people who accept and uplift you—friends, family, or LGBTQ+ peers. Spend more time with those who affirm your identity and make you feel valued. If you’re religious or spiritual, look for affirming communities or leaders within your faith.
Advanced Advice from Inge Hansen, PsyD:
Acceptance often comes from community. Whether online or in-person, find people who understand you and help you feel connected.
4. Limit Time with Non-Affirming People
Not everyone will accept your identity, and that’s painful—but it’s not your fault. Protect your emotional health by limiting time with people who are unkind or dismissive. You deserve support, not judgment.
For instance, if a relative disrespects your identity, consider only seeing them on special occasions.
5. Follow Positive LGBTQ+ Social Media Accounts
Social media can be a source of encouragement. Follow creators and pages that promote LGBTQ+ positivity. Their posts can remind you that you’re not alone and offer helpful advice.
You can unfollow, block, or report any content that feels harmful or toxic.
6. Enjoy LGBTQ+ Media
Watch TV shows, films, and read books that feature positive LGBTQ+ representation. This helps normalize your experiences and makes you feel seen. Avoid media that relies on harmful stereotypes—you deserve content that reflects your truth.
Method 3: Come Out and Celebrate Your Identity
1. Come Out When You’re Ready
Only you can decide when and how to come out. Start with the people you trust most and share what feels comfortable. It’s your story—tell it your way. If you’re not ready for a public reveal, try using an anonymous online forum first.
Important: If coming out puts your safety at risk, wait until you’re in a secure environment.
Reader Poll Insight:
Only 8% of wikiHow readers would try to change someone’s negative opinion about their coming out. Most people suggest giving others time to process.
Advice: Test the waters first—bring up LGBTQ+ topics casually and observe how others respond.
2. Be True to Yourself, Not Stereotypes
Ignore stereotypes about how LGBTQ+ people should act or look. Express yourself authentically—love who you want, dress how you like, and speak in your own voice. There’s no “right” way to be LGBTQ+.
3. Celebrate by Attending Pride Events
Pride events are joyful celebrations of identity and resilience. Whether you go in full rainbow gear or just attend in casual clothes, it’s a way to affirm who you are. Look for Pride events in your area and participate in what feels right for you.
Advice: Join LGBTQ+-friendly clubs or groups to stay engaged year-round.
4. Get Involved in Activism (If You’re Ready)
The fight for LGBTQ+ equality isn’t over. When you’re ready, become an activist. You can contribute in big or small ways:
- Donate to LGBTQ+ causes
- Volunteer at LGBTQ+ organizations
- Write to lawmakers
- Join anti-discrimination rallies
- Share your story to raise awareness
- Educate friends and family about LGBTQ+ rights
Take a Quiz for Personalized Guidance
Want more clarity? Try one of these expert-reviewed quizzes on wikiHow:
- Quiz 1: Am I Gay?
- Quiz 2: Am I a Lesbian?
- Quiz 3: Am I Bisexual?
These tools can offer thoughtful insights based on your experiences and questions.
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