Step 1: If You Want to Learn More About Her, Start a Conversation

Start small and bring up a shared interest if you are not close to the girl who is showing interest in you. This will reduce awkwardness, break the ice, and create a connection from which you can grow.

  • Consider striking up a discussion about sports if she plays volleyball and you play soccer at school.
  • Say something like, “I’m so glad that last chapter is over with,” to start a discussion about a class you are taking together. Then ask, “How did you feel about the reading from last night?”

Step 2: Give Her Praise

Give her occasional compliments. A well-chosen, original compliment can make a big difference. Complimenting a girl, whether it’s about a physical attribute or a personality trait, is a wonderful way to show her how much you care, especially if you stay calm and collected. It’s better to compliment her occasionally rather than too frequently, as doing so too often might make her think you’re trying too hard.

  • You might say, “That’s great! I’m not surprised at all; you’re incredibly intelligent and diligent,” if she tells you she did well on a test.
  • You could say, “I really like your eyes. They have a really lovely blue color,” if she has beautiful blue eyes.

Step 3: Grin

Make eye contact and smile frequently. You can show that you’re interested and confident by smiling and making eye contact when appropriate. This is a smart way to start flirting with her, but avoid staring—too much eye contact can come across as creepy.

  • In the hallway, wave casually, smile, and make quick eye contact to acknowledge her.
  • Keep things feeling natural, not forced.

Step 4: Reflect Her Nonverbal Cues

She may turn her hips, torso, and feet to face you or lean closer when speaking because she likes you. Show her that you like her by mirroring gestures like these.


Step 5: Show Chivalry Without Going Overboard

Even to someone who likes you, holding a door open is always a kind gesture. But doing it repeatedly can come across as excessive. Big gestures, like giving her flowers early on, might be overwhelming and inappropriate at this stage. Save grand romantic gestures for when you’ve been dating for some time.


Step 6: Use Social Media to Communicate with Less Pressure

If you’re shy, it’s easier to show that you like her by liking one of her Facebook status updates, leaving a kind remark on an Instagram picture, or simply friending or following her on social media.


Step 7: Send Her a Lot of Texts, But Not Too Enthusiastically

It could be hard not to send long messages, text her repeatedly, or get upset if she doesn’t respond. However, it’s best to keep your cool. Text her about as often as she texts you so that you don’t come across as needy.

  • A survey showed that about half of 1981 wikiHow readers said they usually reply immediately to someone they like.

Step 8: Have Courage and Call Her

Texting is the norm, so calling her can be seen as bold and romantic. If your conversations—both through text and in person—are flowing and feel natural, calling is the next step.

  • Be confident. Instead of asking, “Do you want to get coffee sometime?” say, “We should get coffee sometime.”

Bonus Quiz

Some girls seem completely mysterious. How can you tell if she wants more than friendship?

Question: How are you treated by her friends?

  • She likes me, they said.
  • When I enter the room, they join her in laughing and giggling.
  • They have spoken about her.
  • I don’t know them, or they haven’t done anything unusual.

Next Method: If You’re Not Interested


Step 1: Ignore Her Advances

If you’re not interested, the best way to convey it is by acting as though nothing is going on. She will likely understand over time if you remain friendly but neutral.


Step 2: Give Her Hints Before Telling Her You’re Not Interested

Before telling her directly, consider gentle hints. Avoid hurting her feelings. Stay within the bounds of small talk, and keep your conversations short. Subtle cues can include:

  • Being unresponsive when she tries to arrange a meeting.
  • Mentioning that you are seeing someone else.
  • Saying that you’re too busy for a relationship at the moment.

Step 3: Respond to Her Nonverbal Cues

She might try to be physically close or adopt open body language. You can subtly reject these cues by:

  • Slightly moving away if she sits close.
  • Crossing your arms when she approaches, which signals resistance.

Step 4: Be Straightforward, Kind, and Honest If She Doesn’t Get the Hint

If she still doesn’t understand, it’s time to be honest. Use “I” statements to keep the conversation focused on your feelings, not her flaws. Avoid listing reasons you don’t like her.

  • Try saying, “I’m really sorry, but I don’t see you that way.”
  • Or say, “I think you’re fantastic, but at this time, I’m searching for something else.”
  • You can also say, “I’ve enjoyed our conversations, but I don’t feel like we have a romantic connection.”

Step 5: Send Her a Gentle but Brief Text

If you prefer texting, keep it short and polite. Don’t text too often, as that could send mixed signals. Stay friendly, but make it clear that you’re not interested in more than friendship.


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